After finding the woman of your dreams and falling in love, the next natural step is to propose marriage. However, popping the question is much more complicated than simply picking out a ring. The person you choose to marry will either make your life infinitely better, or if you choose poorly, then your decision can lead to devastation and heartache. If you are still on the fence, then have no fear. It is normal to be apprehensive about this major life decision. Fortunately, you already know your potential bride well enough to determine if marriage should be in your future. Here are the questions you need to answer to find out if the woman you are dating is meant to be your wife.
Do You Feel an Attraction?
Yes, this might sound obvious since you clearly find her physically attractive if you even started dating. However, it is important to consider more than just her smoldering hot looks. When you spend time together, do you feel that emotional connection that lets you know you can make it for the long haul? Sharing the same sense of humor, having a favorite shared hobby or even just feeling that sense of comfort while enjoying a cup of coffee can all point to a deeper attraction that will guarantee your marriage will last.
Has She Unloaded Her Baggage?
Unresolved issues can wreak havoc on a relationship. We have all heard about women who have daddy issues and drama with their ex’s. Now, think about if you want to deal with all of her past hurts every time a relationship problem comes up. Baggage tends to rear its ugly head in relationships through negative emotions such as blame, mistrust and jealousy. While everyone has some type of issue in their past, you want to make sure she has learned from past negative situations and moved on. If she can discuss a painful event from the past with a fresh perspective, then you can be sure she has dropped her baggage and is ready to enter marriage with an open mind.
Does She Have Control Over Her Emotions?
Every guy has dated a drama queen at some point, and while most of us move on and leave the emotional roller coaster behind, others seem to get stuck with the same girl in a different body. Although the constant pull-and-tug of fights, break-ups and make-ups can lead to some passionate physical encounters, the truth is that no one needs to deal with that for years. The difference between maturity and immaturity is having the ability to remain calm in difficult situations so communication and personal growth can take place. Although you can expect your partner to occasionally cry over a sad movie or get mad when you make a mistake, these situations should not escalate beyond a temporary emotional response that is overcome with mature communication.
Do You Argue Constructively?
Think about your last fight for a moment. If you have not had one yet, then you are either still in the blissful stage or so compatible that you might as well just pop the question today. Over a marriage that lasts a lifetime, you will undoubtedly fall into many disagreements ranging from minor issues, such as what to have for dinner to big ones involving career changes and major relocations. If your last argument degenerated into tears and yelling without ever being resolved, then you still need to work on your communication together. However, if you both resolved your conflict in a way that benefited the relationship, then congratulations you two might just have what it takes to make it last.
Is She Pursuing a Passion?
Although it might seem exciting to have a partner who hangs on your every word like some lovesick groupie, the truth is that you will never get a moment’s peace if she does not have her own goals. The ideal partner for marriage should be able to pursue her own interests while being supportive of yours. Whether your prospective bride enjoys gardening, volunteering or is on her way to becoming a CEO does not matter as long as it brings her personal fulfillment and aligns with your values.
Is She Supportive of Your Goals?
The 1950s housewife may have gone away with the era, but you should still be able to expect your marriage partner to support your ambitions. No, this does not mean she should greet you at the door with your slippers after the end of a long, hard day. However, it does mean that she asks questions about your goals and can listen while offering her support and advice. If she already expresses negativity about your chosen career or degrades your aspirations, then beware. These problems will only get worse after marriage.
How Does She Treat Others?
Women are often told that how a man treats his mother can be a sign of how he will treat his future wife. Take a cue from this wise piece of advice, and observe how your potential bride responds to others. Take her out for dinner and notice how she treats the wait staff, and listen with fresh ears when she holds conversations at social events. As a general rule, the way she treats other people can be taken for a sign of how she will treat you over the years, including your own family and any potential kids. Patience, compassion and general politeness are traits a quality woman will display in every contact she makes in both private and public settings.
Do You Agree On the Big Things?
If you have made it this far down the list with a resounding yes to each question, then it is time to assess the fundamentals of your relationship. Every couple comes to marriage with their ideas about how they want their future to play out, and it is important to make sure these ideas are aligned. Ask your partner about how they prefer to handle finances and raising a family. Go ahead and get down to the details of how many kids you each want and how you will share responsibilities. Discuss how you will handle aging parents and all of the other surprises that can be hard to think about so early on in the relationship. While both of your ideas may change as the years go by and many things may or may not happen, these conversations can help you determine whether or not you have the same fundamental values for handling the basics of marriage.
Are You Ready for Her?
Now that you have assessed your partner, and hopefully have found your Mrs. Right, all that is left to do is make sure you are definitely ready to make this commitment. No one is ever truly in the perfect place for marriage, and if you are waiting to be, then you should know that this is not how marriage works. Marriage is about blending together two different sets of strengths to make one strong bond that can go the distance. If you know that your partner is perfect in every way and you can return the same commitment and passion that you treasure in her personality, then you can get ready to make that proposal.
Jumping into a marriage is never a smart idea, yet it is also important to avoid waiting so long that your Mrs. Right starts to believe she is Mrs. Wrong. If you know that your partner is emotionally-ready and can bring the perfect blend of maturity and romance into your marriage, then all that is left to do is make that proposal and wait for her to say yes to building a lifetime of happiness together.